My Cancer Journey

It was around mid-July 2014, at the radiologist office. I could tell something was wrong by the long wait to see him after the ultrasound exam. I was right. When I walked into his office, his words to me “you better get insurance” shook me to the core. At the time I didn’t have health insurance. He told me that the ultrasound results showed masses of tumors in my ovaries and most likely cancerous.

It was a lovely summer day and the views of Central Park would have been welcoming, but they weren’t. I was shaky, scared, and frightened and knew my life was about to change drastically.

The subsequent tests proved that it was indeed cancerous and I spent the next several weeks preparing for surgery. I was lucky that the cancer hadn’t spread beyond my abdomen and I could have surgery.

I was able to get health insurance, find an excellent oncologist and schedule all the necessary appointments.

I was relatively calm but underneath I was really falling a part.

On August 26, 2014, I had surgery and my healing and recovery went smoothly. However, the follow-up chemotherapy treatments and side effects were horrendous. I was weak, fatigued and confused.

I instinctively found creative outlets during my recovery which allowed me to find some peace and serenity. I started doing art work, studying all about Mandalas, and heightened my meditation practice.

At the time I lived across the street from Central Park and was strong enough to take daily walks in Central Park. I also walked across the park to my treatments and medical appointments at the hospital where I was being treated.

I was determined to stay fit, healthy, and independent. People close to me were amazed that I had the energy and motivation to take these long walks.

I am convinced that this has kept me alive and prolonged my life.

As soon as I felt strong enough I went back to working with my clients who were supportive and impressed with how well I was doing.

I began to make progress and pay closer attention to my diet and lifestyle habits. I learned a great deal about diet, nutrition and how to eat healthy while going through cancer recovery. I’ve always practiced healthy eating habits, but this was different.

The question of why I got cancer was still haunting me and after doing several genetic testing there was no evidence that it was genetic. Strange, because my mother died from this cancer at age fifty-seven.

My cancer journey is unique. Within a year after the surgery and treatment, my cancer came back. It was traumatic and terrifying. I had to face something I imagined would never happen.

Not only was this recurrence traumatic, but I’ve lived through five additional ones.

With each recurrence comes a new treatment, side effects, and emotional stress that’s difficult to manage. The uncertainties are immeasurable and would shatter anyone’s spirit. Somehow, I persevered and in fact grew stronger each time.

I realize, like others living with a chronic illness, that my cancer is not curable but can be managed with the right treatment. I am optimistic that this will continue and new treatments will be discovered to prolong the lives of people living with cancer.

I have gained so much in acceptance, forgiveness, and humility because of this experience. My relationships have blossomed into ones of depth, love, and gratitude.

I work every day at being a source to help others heal and recover from their setbacks, renew their lives, and find balance and harmony.

While I was going through these recurrences, which debilitated and weakened me, it became evident that I was using my own expertise to stay strong, fit, and independent.

It was also my will to live, self-determination, and the things I cared about that are responsible for keeping me positive and optimistic.

Shortly before my cancer diagnosis I joined a spiritual support group. The fellowship and support of the group offers me hope, courage and the ability to cope when things are rough. Throughout my illness it has supported and made me stronger.

I’ve endured my fair share of challenges, yet survived and even improved my health and quality of life because of cancer. Cancer doesn’t define who I am.

I continue to life a full life, accept that my cancer is chronic and grateful to my medical team for their support during times of anxiety and uncertainty. Most importantly, asking for help has become natural and easy for me nowadays.

I was told by my oncologist recently that I am remarkable because only a few women live longer than five years with my cancer. I know how fortunate I am to still be alive after ten years and sad that so many women did not survive longer.

Six years ago after my fourth recurrence, I decided to retire from personal training and became a certified health coach. This new approach to health and wellness has impacted my life in many ways, not only to help others, but to help care for myself and live a better life.

I hope you will consider working with me if you are in need of support to get you to a better place in your life so you can fully enjoy your life.